I have sassy tomatoes. Say it with me now – “SASSY tomatoes!”
The Sassy Tomato Saga begian with my concern over the environment and the food my family consumes. I mean, c’mon, would you eat bug killer? Every time you buy a non-organically grown fruit or vegetable you allow your family to consume chemical residue. It’s time to give our children better health, isn’t it?
Yet, who can afford organic? It’s expensive – many organic vegetables are flown here from all over the world utilizing extensive transportation which produces a lot of CO2 and contributes to global warming. When I approach the organic produce section I often see the snobby organic fruits wearing stylish plastic coverings; their little elitist fur coats. The answer: buy local. Buying local means you usually get organic as well as better nutrition. Vegies which have been picked at the peak of ripeness have more vitamins and much more flavor.
In an effort to stay local and combat the grocery prices, I decided to grow my own tomatoes this summer. A sweet couple, Susan and Larry Kasprowicz, grew a Polish Heritage tomato plant for me from seed over the winter. Larry is a remarkable survivor. He has Type II diabetes and has survived colon cancer. He has fibrocystic lung disease, emphysema, congestive heart failure, and atrial fibrillation. He gardens to stay alive and healthy – something I highly recommend. Thanks for spreading the tomato love Larry!
Here’s Susan and Larry in their garden – aren’t they adorable?
Susan and he brought the tomato plant and stake over for me and, due to the rain, we planted it a bit late in the spring behind my fence in the area I have designated as a garden for the public. I waited. And waited. Forever. It takes a long time to grow a tomato. I checked on the babies every day and finally, after months, the little buggers began getting larger and started to ripen.
Finally the day came when I could pick my ‘mater. I was so excited! I brought the camera and my garden snippers out and took this photo of the prize tomatoes:
I picked one tomato, raised it above my head like an Olympic champion, danced a victory wiggle, and shouted “WAHOO!”
The next day I came back out to pick the other one AND IT HAD BEEN STOLEN! ARGH! DOH! Call the tomato police! Call the FBI! Call Whole Foods! It was a crime of passion I’m sure as these tomatoes taste like heaven.
In fact, I had several tomato plants sprinkled throughout my perennial garden and I was only able to save two tomatoes. Both are MIRACLE tomatoes and I wanted to share the tomato miracle with my husband (and now my readers).
The first miracle is tomato number one. It is shaped rather like the view of a man’s bottom – -
“Honey, I grew a tomato that looks like a butt! Wanna see?”
Husbands reply, “uh, no!”
“But it’s a BUTT!”
The second miracle is tomato number two is square – A SQUARE I TELL YOU – - “Mom you grew a square! How’d you do that?” “uh… my super tomato powers, didn’t you know?”
Why not feed your family locally grown or organic foods? You’ll discover a miracle or two in the process – maybe not a “mooning” tomato – but perhaps better health.
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